Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
