hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
