He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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