That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
this hospital has no fireball
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
