Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
