I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
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She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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