Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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