I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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