you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That accounts for only three of the penises
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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