She just used a chaser for red wine.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
