I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hippo gnu deer
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
