just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
