Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.