I wish i was in the wii world.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
