The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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