So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
