mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
