come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
