If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
