i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
