i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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