Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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