I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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