i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
