I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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