Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
