Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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