I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
