She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
