I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
