yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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