An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
