so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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