you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize