Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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