Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
