I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
