Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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