I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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