just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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