that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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