"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
