Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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