my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
