3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found a bag of teeth...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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