Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.