Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.

(1-775): View more from Nevada

What!?!?! How are you txting?!

(775): View more from Nevada

Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.

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(775): Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you. (1-775): What!?!?! How are you txting?! (775): Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1ioc

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(224): View more from Illinois

The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway

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(224): The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway http://tfl.nu/3kio

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(404): View more from Georgia

There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.

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(404): There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man. http://tfl.nu/gtt8

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(609): View more from New Jersey

She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

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(609): She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good. http://tfl.nu/1igy

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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(413): Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/3v3s

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(830): View more from Texas

I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter

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(830): I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter http://tfl.nu/xpn7

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(647): View more from Ontario

btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme

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(647): btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme http://tfl.nu/51hh

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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(201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..

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(902): i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this.. http://tfl.nu/inhx

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(989): View more from Michigan

there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

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(989): there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere http://tfl.nu/hg2l

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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(215): The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand http://tfl.nu/qoyx

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.

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(804): I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary. http://tfl.nu/ps0w

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(573): View more from Missouri

just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks

(1-573): View more from Missouri

the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..

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(573): just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks (1-573): the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving.. http://tfl.nu/nln8

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(540): View more from Virginia

Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.

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(540): Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents. http://tfl.nu/vksy

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(425): View more from Washington

You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.

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(425): You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you. http://tfl.nu/vxkn

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