I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
