just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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