Porn is love you can see.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
