SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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