I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
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I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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