His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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