drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
