one two three fourrrrnication!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
