She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
