well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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