Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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