The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
