am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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