My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
